Little Sprinkles

Twice it shines

As praised by the fireflies

Little they get to say goodbye

Euphoric ’cause of the dark sky.

 

Torch blooms as my soul felt

The warmth of their tight mess

Revival of sweet romancing

Dancing as they shine, even finesse.

 

Reflection in the paddle,

Muddy as it gets

Reminiscing the tremor,

crazy as it gets.

 

‘Round my neck are thorns

Feathered by unnoticed wings.

Never I have forgotten a dream

Of a thousand ships sunken:

One is for you and me.

—————————————————————————–

Disclosures After Midnight, April 2015

Luna & Polaris

I thought of those tides
That I have been hugging a couple of times,
There was you who shone the light;
Even before I noticed you sparkle
To those nights when the ocean glitters.

I thought of those phases
After the sun share his heat to me
Thinking it was the brightest
As I was blinded by its rays;
Still there was little twinkles from you—
Appreciating my quarters, halves and crescents.

I thought of those journeys
Of the shipmen crossing the vast seas
They were fate-less, having sad sirens
Echoing above the harsh waves they saw
But I gave them light, you gave them direction.

From then on, clouds paved the way;
Oceans sang the rhythm of our gravities
Keeping us close and never the ship
Will sink and lose her navigation
And I thought of you and me– destiny.

You’re my north and I your south–
The ends and our beginnings–
That our love shall flow
And our Earth is the witness
Though seasons will mellow
I thought of you and me– forever.

To Vie & Elian.

(Photo courtesy of https://wallpapersafari.com/moon-and-stars-background/)

Mulat nang Napiringan

***A monologue in commemoration of EDSA People Power***

Tagpo 1. Sa Isang Kampo, Kapanahunan ng Martial Law- Gabi

Madilim ang kwarto. Ang ilaw ay nakatapat sa isang lalaking nakaupo, nakabigkis sa makapal na tali. Siya ay duguan matapos maltratuhin.

Biktima

Panginoon, wag sanang gamitin ang mga bersikulo mo upang takpan ang mga balahura ng panahong ito. Wag sanang tangkain na palitan ang mga hinaing namin sa mga oras na ito dahil kami ngayon ay natakpan na ng piring upang hindi patuloy na makita ang nakakaririmarim na katotohan, pati na rin ang aming bibig upang isambit ang mga katotohanang ito.

Sabihin mo sa akin kung ito ay nararapat sa akin… sa aming nakikipaglaban sa kalagitnaan ng lahat ay naniniwala ay disiplina lang ang kailangan na ito ang sagot sa lahat. Na ang demokrasya ay walang magagawa upang maisayos ang lahat, na ang pag-ibig sa bayan ay katumbas lang ng pananahimik sa kung ano ang nangyayari matapos ang takipsilim. Hindi ito ang aking kinagisnan… pinaglaban ito ng ating mga ninuno at patuloy tayo sa pagtatanggol nito.

Sabihin mo kung sinong makasarili. Oo nga’t kami’y nakatingala pero alam namin ang nangyayari dito sa ibaba. Madugo, madilim, masikip… hindi ko mawari. Konting sigaw ikaw ay sasapakin, konting reklamo ikaw ay huhulihin, konting hinanakit sa sistema ikaw ay hahamakin at kung manlaban man sa kung ano ang tama, ikaw ay ibibigkis, pipiringan at mawawala… mamamatay ng bigla.

Sabihin mo, sabihin mo kung tama pa ba ito. Sabihin mo kung nasaan ako nakatayo. Hindi ako ang nasa ibabaw, hindi ako ang nasa kapangyarihan… ordinaryong Pilipino lang ako na nakita ang pagkaganid ng mga nasa pwesto. Hindi ako santo para matama ang lahat pero hindi rin ako bobo upang hindi maintindihan ang epekto nito. Sabihin mo kung tama bang ilugmok ko ang aking mga paa sa semento ng pag-asenso na sinasabi nila. Tinuruan ako na magkaroon ng malasakit sa bayan at ang pakikibaka tungo sa tama ang lakad ng aking mga paa ang sambit ng aking mga bibig.

Kaya’t sabihin mo? Sabihin mo kung naasan ang hustisya? Nasaan ang pagkakapantay-pantay… ang respeto… ang pagiging matino… ang pagiging makatarungan… ang pagiging tapat… ang pagiging makabansa. Sabihin mo kung ngiting ‘yan ay hindi makasarili… sabihin mo habang nasasambit ko pa ang mga salitang ito… sabihin mo… sabihin mo kung tama pa ba ang Bagong Lipunang ito!

Sabihin mo sa mga anak at anak niya na ‘wag sana siyang mabahala, dahil alam kong napagtanggol ko siya. Sabihin mo sa kanya na ‘wag siyang magpakabulag… magpakatanga… lalo na sa masasamang impluwensya. Sabihin mo na mahal ko siya… kaya’t ipagtatanggol ko ang inang demokrasya hanggang kamatayan… para magawa niya kung ano ang gusto niyang pangarapin sa kanyang tanang buhay. ‘Wag niyang hayaang burahin ang salaysay naming ito at palaging buksan ang kanyang isip dahil ang mga bukas na aming ibubuwis ay ang mga bukas na laan sa kanyang ikasasaya.

Namatay ang ilaw, maririnig ang isang putok ng baril.

Tapos.

Flyovers. Stopovers.

Fill me with fine sand, like I’m an hourglass. In that way, I can decide how slow, how fast will the time pass. I decide when to go upside down. I decide when to end and start all over again.

 

Fine sands, without any traces of tiny rocks.

Fine sands, without any traces of a droplet from the rain you danced with.

Fine sands, without passing all your sins inside it.

Fine sands, so that I may feel that everything will just be fine, though the gravity decides to pull every bit at 9.8 m/s², whatever the numbers would be.

 

I will decide the time to not let you waste it. The time that you will be honest… it’s what you owe me. Until then, I can say your time is up, unless you put more and make the most out of it.

————————————————————————–

Disclosures after Midnight. 14-02-2017

Green Lights

I’m in the middle of the road, seeing headlights approaching, I spread my arms trying to embrace it,
until the light over my head turns red… turned green again.. and there was orange. I wish I had my death that time.

***

I’m on the edge of the cliff, seeing the vast sea approaching, hugging… even smashing big rocks below. I spread my arms attempting to fly and fall and it starts raining. I then just realized I was drowning inside that my heartbeat is more trembling than the thunder I am hearing right now. I wish I had my death that time.

***

I wish I had my death those times. I was in the middle, in the climax where I suppose to have a sweet tragedy, to get rid of the noise… to hear silence… to breathe the dead air.

***

I crossed the other side of the street instead. I stepped back and turned to the high mountains instead. There are more intersections to pass, more hills to climb, more valleys to cross and more wisdom to take. So I decided to restart all over again.

————————————————————————–

Disclosures after Midnight. 14-02-2017

Instances

In an instance that I will look at you,

—

don’t look back,

—

act like we’re just two strangers

walking under one celestial body.

—

In an instance that you will look at me,

I’ll act that you’re just a kid,

curious about everything the world has.

—

In an instance that we looked

at each other eye to eye,

like everything would be like in slow motion,

—

we’ll just act we don’t need each other’s arms…

—

like we just feel normal

and used to have that missing piece inside;

and accept the fact that these instances

will never lead to a happy ending story.

—

I’m just tired of feeling

that I should belong to you

or it will be magical to have you.

—

I’m tired of feeling hurt…

—

of feeling unloved.

————————————————————————–

Disclosures after Midnight. 14-01-2017

A Message from a dying, white rose

 

You picked me and smelled my scent

Like a little kid, so sweet and innocent

My thorns, you thought it’s indecent

You cut it leaving holes like cresent.

—

You picked me and placed on a vase

Showered me water, I’m in haze

Caressed me and melted by your gaze

Hypnotized… bloomed… amazed.

—

I danced like I’m the queen of the night

Turned and flipped with point and might

My leaves still swayed, I had the spotlight

Until the stage turn bright with blinding light.

—

“Dreamy, I feel like floating high

As the gravity forcefully sigh

My petals, my leaves cry

For salvation I let to fly.”

—

I missed my roots, my stem, my thorns

Where am I… bothered and torn,

My white petals, withered it turn

Like digging my grave I kissed thy scorn!

—

Space and time… life and death

It all had meaning when I see that wreath

My head’s still floating; I barely breathe,

Where’s the sun and rain, I want to bathe.

—

I’m left with my glooming petals

Who still struggle to face the lethals

Reimagining those unfaithful skulls

Who shove my soul and let my silvers dull.

—

I should die and you know it will come

But let me tell you, bury me in my home

Where butterflies hide during the storm

And above me, are other roses who dares to bloom.

—

Count the minutes that I breathe still

Hope that you fulfill my simple will

Happiness and love may be surreal

Like a broken vase where I lived after the waters were spilled.

—

 

————————————————————————–

Disclosures after Midnight. 29-11-2016

My Setbacks

He.

Tan skin mixed with

a toned shape of his body.

Hazel eyes that I’m uncertain

if it remains closed

or barely opened.

I remember you

not the way you looked

but the way you smiled on things;

In your love of art

The way you sing, dance

and write thoughts about love.

Simple as it is but lovely as I get it.

You were deeper…

beautiful being I want to cling to.

Amor…

rose petals fall unto you.

————————————————————————–

Disclosures after Midnight. 28-10-2016

Where did it go?

I miss you.

Your smell, the way I look into your dark brown eyes

and the way you curve your lips

like a crescent shining bright in my night sky.

I miss you .

Like I wanna hold you ’til forever.

But if I will, I’m afraid that you will be suffocated

and will feel nothing but the tension I put into that hands.

I’m afraid to miss you.

But I can’t hold that feeling.

I miss you.

I really miss you.

————————————————————————–

Disclosures after Midnight. 17-10-2016

Steps